Hunting Ground (14)

Original Internet Ad:
hunt of your life – $500: amazing hunting ground. hunt elk or deer with any weapon you want. i promise a successful hunt. located in upstate *******. call ***-***-****

Negotiation Strategy:
Going to try and capitalize on technicalities within the posting. If I can get him to disclose specific information, he’s done.  Information is knowledge > knowledge is power > power corrupts, and corruption is a crime. So as long as I can get the right information, he’s toast!

I am very interested in this offer. I own my own weapons. Can you please provide directions to the amazing hunting ground?

Ned Wingfield

we are located 30 min south of ********, **, what type of hunt do you want – thanks mark

Mark,
Can you send me the gps coordinates or something? I’d like to google maps it before I commit to anything. You know, analyze the forest density and such. Routine pre-hunting agreement stuff.
I’ll be hunting with a dagger (I’m a real animal lover and like to get as close as possible when I kill them). I assume this is fine since your ad promises success.
Ned

interesting, we too are animal lovers and do everything to accomplish a humane hunt, but daggers and such are for people that wish to bleed their victims which means slow death. perhaps you should look elsewhere.

Alright, we can work with my ballistic arsenal. What about a compound bow? I’m amenable to other projectiles and own a lot of weapons.
Also, you didn’t send me gps coordinates…
Ned

we would be using a gun. im not sending you the location so that you can just go on your own. nice try.
give me a call if you are serious about the hunt.

We do this on my terms or we don’t this at all. Dagger or bow. Send the coordinates before the deal.
Your move…

find yourself somewhere else to hunt.

Ok a gun is fine. I was just testing how resolute you were. This will be important for when we are out in the wild and clinging to each other in frozen anticipation of our kill.
Can you just give me like a 1 mile radius of the hunt? Come on, this is a friendly business transaction. I’ll pay $750.

what are you talking about clinging? we will be hunting. it’s within 5 miles of N **.*****, W **.*****. seriously, call me if that works for you. im not emailing you anymore.
mark

Hope you had a good weekend Mark. I’ve just returned from your hunting area with several carcasses. Managed to even bag a young turkey! I slaughtered them with daggers and brass knuckles like a real man (cough cough).

ok nutjob. if i ever see you out there you and your brass knuckles better start running.

Mark,
I know you wish you could have gone hunting with me and I’m sorry it didn’t work out. If you want to learn to hunt like a real man then I’ll do you a favor and hunt for free with you (on your grounds of course). We’ll head to the grounds the night before and stake out angles and crossings. We’ll have to pack lightly (none of those pussy orange vests) When we awake we will begin the hunt and will mercilessly behead any beasts deranged enough to cross our paths on our quest for manhood. I’ll descend from our platform and tackle them, latching on with my daggers and then you slit their necks in a fury of bloodlust. Later, we’ll load the dripping carcasses into your car (oh by the way can you drive?) and drive back to my place to gut them and prepare them for my taxidermy shed. You can keep the leftover meat.Let me know if you are free next weekend and what length of dagger you prefer (I have everything from 6″ to 14″ in half inch intervals). I’m a big fan of the 12.5″ fyi.

See you soon!
Ned

youre insane. do not contact me again.

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