Korean Tutor (10)

Original Internet Ad:
Learn Korean

I speak Korean fluently have taught Korean to Americans for 4 years. I can work with beginners or those looking to practise the language. No prior knowledge needed.  All you need is to be interested in learning!

Please contact me at ******@*****.com.

looking forward to hearing from you!

Negotiation Strategy:
I could really use this guy’s skills. He is obviously Korean so I will offer him things that Asians like to sweeten the deal.

Hello,

I would love to learn some Korean. (That’s what she said, lol.) No, I’m just kidding.

My neighbor is Korean and we aren’t on good terms. So I would do one lesson just to learn some swear words. I hate my neighbor and I figure writing Korean swear words on her door and cats would be funny. Plus she deserves it. She would never know its me too since she thinks I only speak English and Latin (which is true).

The only problem is that I’m a bit short on cash so I’d be open to bartering. I could give you 10 Yu-Gi-Oh cards of your choice (I have holographics). If you’re not into that stuff I could trade you various electronics I have collected. If you’re not into electronics, I have some great ninja costumes in my basement. Also, I have a few Wutang Clan tapes and some plastic nunchucks. My real weapon arsenal is off limits though. Sorry.

Anyway I think it’s a fair deal for whatever you choose. Feel free to drop by whenever you want, I can make us some Pad Thai if you call ahead of time!

Ned Wingfield

Ned,

I do not teach such profanity. Its against my core beliefs. If you are only interested in curse words my services will not be offered.

Thank you,

Dak-Ho Nae

Dak-Ho Nae,

It’s not a big deal Dak-Ho Nae. My neighbor always writes “inappropriate” things on my door. Just last week she left a note saying that if I ever fire my compound bow into her fence again she will call the police. Except I shot it at my side of the fence so it’s my property. This lady is like fresh off the boat I don’t think she gets American culture like me. This is justice, thats it.

Listen if you don’t want to help me out just send me some word documents full of bad words and we can call it even. Or if you want to bring it over to my place, let me know ahead of time so that I can cook up some famous Wingfield Noodles!

Ned

Ned,

Sorry but I will not be teaching you any curses.

Dak-Ho Nae

Dak-Ho Nae,

We got off on the wrong foot here. Just ignore my previous e-mails. I was joking. Actually, I need some Korean help for another unrelated matter. So, some local Korean vandals wrote a bunch of graffiti on my shed and I want to know if it is swear words so I can tell their parents. Can you please send me a list of common swear words so I can compare it to what they wrote? Or, if you’d like to bring it over on foot, call me beforehand, and I’ll prepare some sushi for us to enjoy!

Ned

I know this’s to harass your neighbor. Sorry and goodbye.

Dak-Ho Nae,

You are clever. You must be an amazing tutor. LOL.

So I found Korean swear words on the internet but I don’t think I can write them in actual Korean letters. I will pay you as many yu gi oh cards as you want if you come over and help write on my neighbor’s door and cats. You can have the ninja costume too.

Ned

please stop writing me!

Dak-Ho Nae,

Obviously you would side with my Korean neighbor. No offense. All the other neighbors do too and they aren’t even Korean! They are trying to pass some by-law in my neighborhood about not being allowed to keep so many dermistid beetles. It’s obviously targeted at me. But I need them for my taxidermy hobby (the beetles clean the flesh off of skulls/bones). So I’m taking the battle to the next level…stay tuned (I put you on my mailing list).

Let me know if you want to come by and try out my compound bow or any other weapons. Seriously, anytime. Also, if you have any yu gi oh cards to trade or if you ever get any call me at ***-***-****. Actually just call anytime. I’d love to hear from you! I really want to make some Korean friends instead of enemies.

By the way, you’re a guy, right? Send me a pic if that’s cool.

Ned

Dak-Ho Nae,

Haven’t heard from you in a week. Hope you are alright and the tutoring is going well.

Just an update on the neighbor situation. I found Korean spelling on the internet! I trapped one of my neighbor’s cats through a hole in my fence (well my neighbor’s fence but my side as I explained to you). It’s a tawny color cat so the black marker showed up pretty well. I had to sedate it because it kept scratching me and I might have used a bit too much acepromazine so I just planted her outside my neighbor’s back door.

You should have seen her face Dak-Ho Nae! I recorded it all actually so when you come by you can definitely check it out. Dak-Ho Nae, I wrote ‘Nigimi ship e dah’ on the cat but in actual Korean letters. I know you are really proud. I’m a quick learner (the student has become the teacher, LOL).

Anyway she somehow assumed it was me and I was like: “You’re crazy, I can’t write in Korean”. But I guess they heard about how I did this to my neighbors from Hungary on the other side with Hungry writing to their dog, so they knew it was me this time too. They can’t prove anything though so whatever. I just hope they don’t call the cops again. But don’t worry, if they do I won’t turn you in. I’m taking our secret to the grave Dak-Ho Nae!

Anyway this will all probably make the mailing list this month (it’s been slow) so hope you don’t mind reading it twice. I just couldn’t wait to tell you.

Ned

PS – Dak-Ho Nae, still waiting on that pic. We can trade if that’s what you’re waiting for.

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